I'm Lim Boon peng here

Wednesday, December 30, 2009 - 11:02 AM

Time past..
Days,
Weeks,
soon eventually it will be gone.

You called me at 12 midnight.. it shocked me, you wanted to talk to me.
So ok. the next day we talk on phone again. Was fine.
Especially last night.. Told me that your going to sleep. Well you called someone else instead.
I know.. I just dont wish to say anything. Because the guilt is in you not me.
Somemore, im not your anyone.

You now can "flash" to others..
I thought and i was hoping it was only me.
I wish to see you, and i dont wish to see you.
I dont want you returning with a dirty heart.

But it was another lie again.
Honesty wasnt good enough for you huh?
I just kept quiet.
Fuck this.

Calls me when you want to talk to me.. Seriously.. What am i? A spare tire again?
Want to contact, keep contacting.
How many times i told you dont play with feelings.
remember that you "flashed" to me. It cant be forgotten.
And i want it. I did not throw away. remember that,
I DID NOT THROW ANYTHING AWAY. I was appriciating everything..

Sex Bombtable>

Monday, December 21, 2009 - 5:28 PM

Going 2 weeks, writing all this by myself.
Everyday wondering what are you doing.
Feeling that your in pain.
Feeling that your happy.
Feeling that your giving love to someone else.

But it felt good to watch people suffer the way i am, like how they treated me.
I dont want you to return things to me. I want you to keep it as memory,
hoping you will come back to me, showing the meaning of care.
Unless someone else got inside your pants..

Your not going to see me anymore.
Remember that, you ran away.
Not me.

Take care ok?

Sex Bombtable>

Saturday, December 19, 2009 - 12:41 AM

Moving on.
I am still walking away. Further away from you.
Your still choosing a friend.

You said that, "people treats you bad, you will treat them the same way."
Hey girl, i did not break up with you.
Comparing others of your ex..

They did nothing bad to you?
So your just saying that i treat you bad?
Sigh. Life, or love, its just so unfair.
I wish you all the best.

Tried to went out, to have fun with friends, but its like, pain killer.
Once i reach home, stepping inside my house, my room, its like stepping into hell.
Girl, i wish you will be there for me, cus i allow you so.
I wish to be there for you too, but you wont allow me.
Cody will be fine. I promise.

Take care of yourself. Dont do any wrong things. Or dont do anything, to hurt anyone.

P.S: I will just be the wind.
I love you.

Sex Bombtable>

Thursday, December 17, 2009 - 9:08 PM

Its ok.
I understand why you will talk to me in that way, because i treat you bad. Thats what you think it is.
But i know, i never.
I know i keep saying, "I love you" lots of time, every single day.

So what if its the past? So your saying you can play with boyfriends?
Throw this guy away, that love you today, then another guy love you tomorrow.

You cant do that.
You say you feel that i treat you bad.
But i treat you like my girlfriend, do the same thing? No. you cant.

You think of yourself only. You just want to be happy, and wont think for others.
Maybe thats how the way you are, well too bad, you will never find a true love if your like this.

But soon, you will learn..
Say mean stuffs to me. Its ok.
I just want you to stay happy.
Do whatever you like.

I know, i quarrel with you, hurt you, its bad, but at least i apologised non stop.
I really would do anything for you. If you want to. I will.
I missed you, i really do.
When you cant even talk to me properly, how you expect me to be nice to you.

Reason why i say you choose friends, because you want to be with someone, that is better friend. Or boyfriend.
Well im telling you, NOT EVERYONE IS PERFECT.

Is you weather if your willing to be with him.
Give in everything, dont care what other says. And do the right thing.

I was really hoping, we both could really start agian,
everything new.
But i guess, the only thing that is new towards you, is another guy.
Please girl,
dont play with love,
dont FUCK with people mind, people feelings.

I still love you, no matter who you are now, no matter what you done to me.
Just that i wont do anything, because you wont allow me so.
I will miss you.

Badly. I will miss everything. But you wouldnt care.
Why do i have to tell you?
You didnt even know, every single night, i will go down to your block, just to sit there alone.
Not wishing anything to happen.
But just bringing back the memories we have, looking at our own illusion.
Looking at the happier times of our illusion.
Looking at my mirror with your face beside me.
Its all illusion, but it feels so real.

I am moving on, i am.
But saying about the past, feeling it.
Does not mean im not moving on.

People do think about the past, and they will want it if its possible. YES ITS STILL POSSIBLE.
Nonsense?

Then playing with love is not nonsense?

I admit i did do wrong things, i said sorry. Alot of times. I will keep saying it everyday, like how i say i love you, just to remove the pain away from you.

I cherish the every single little things you do for me.
every minute every moment that im with you.
Cant you feel that how much love i give you?
EVEN when i quarrel with you?

At least i know that im wrong..
I dont want you turn bad.
I dont want see you, getting play.
I dont want to see you letting someone else hurt you.
I dont want to see you fooling around.
I want to see you become better.

I want you to be happy, but be happy in a correct way.
Not hurting other people, to make yourself happy.
Look at cody, he shit, he pee everywhere of your house,
you will just clean up for him, no matter what he do.

You love cody alot, because he just stay by your side.
Then i ask you, go throw him away. Find another dog.
Because his injured, his no use.

Its the same feeling.
Take care of yourself..

P.S: I will always be beside you, just that you cant see me.
I will only appear when you really shout for me. Always be watching you.
I love you.

Sex Bombtable>

- 12:08 AM

Girl, do i have to move on without?
Are you really that happy?
Looks like you can do any thing at your free will, you wouldnt talk to me, but...
You should know who i am talking.
Fuck this.

Its just so wasted. So.. wasted.. Such a big love i had, now its gone.

Chrismas, all i wish, is to hold your hand. Either forever, or one more last time.
I dont want to show you anything anymore, since you dont care anymore, i will really do anything for love, but you just wont allow .

You dont know, you dont want to know anything anymore. I miss your smile you gave it to me.

I miss the lips i pressed on. So many things i just cant bare to let it go.
I love you last time, but i still love you now.
Cant you do the same? Whats the reason? I want to know all again.
Love is just so dangerous, can spoil somone life. It also can make someone feel good.

Why do you have to play my feelings. Why cant you just stick with one guy and really be with him.
You want to become F & T those kind of girls? I trust you wont be that..
Why do you have to runaway. What is the thing.

I have not fulfill my wish. I have no chance to take you for dinner when finish my work.
I have no chance to get a pair of ring for us when i save my pay.
I have no chance, to take you to beach just to walk.
I have no chance, to prove you that i love you, with my life.
I have no chance, sprinting down to your house just to see you.
I have no chance, to kiss you anymore.
I have no chance, to hug you anymore.
I have no chance, to see you anymore.
I have no chance, to say that i love you.
I have no chance, to make you love me back.

But i know you done so many things in school.. outside school..
Im not strong, im not weak, you will feel the pain someday.

Oh look, every couples i see. Now i felt loneliness.
The warmness i use to give, the love i use to give, just, gone.
The shoulder you use to lie on. I really hate this feeling.
I really hate myself.
Everynight, looking out the window, looking at my life, wondering, what if we both now are still going well.
Looking at the sky, just staring at it blank, and just letting my tears flow.

I just wish, i could spend more time with you, i would, give in all my time for you.
Every little things, means something.

Its hard. Hard to move on..
All this while.. its just, walking alone, with a book and a pen.

Nobody will read this anyway..

P.S: I Love You.

Sex Bombtable>

Tuesday, December 15, 2009 - 11:58 PM

You actually can talk to me! You actually can.
But you just asked me to change my pm.
Yes, i want to put, because i miss the love bite i gave it to you.
You know how it feels. I know too.
I missed you. And you dont. Do you?
I still cant eat. I cant sleep properly.
And even if i sleep,
Next morning waking up, knowing that you dont belong to me anymore.
Just hurtful.

"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go!"

"No matter how many times I try and move on, my heart always takes me back here to you."

"It takes a second to say I love you, but a lifetime to show it

"Deep down I know it's best for myself, but I hate the thought of you being with someone else."

P.S: I Love You.

Sex Bombtable>

Monday, December 14, 2009 - 7:29 PM

1 week past. And waiting for your call to return back.
Well.. as per usual. No calls, you wont be returning back anymore.

There can be alot of reasons of it,
1, Lost of trust.. why? (I dont know. I dont make myself to lose the trust.)
2, Relatives hating me with no proper reason. (I got nothing against them.)
3, Maybe, Using me to play with me.
4, Quarreling. (Its common, if you know how to settle it.)
5, Cant meet up much, and feel boring of me, wanting someone new.

I see so many things in my mind.
Going to school.. Library.. links to your blog.. someone else face in my mind, someone else.. lips, your school, a class.. What are all this images inside my mind! I cant figure out anything.
Maybe. Shes just want to play, and have fun.
Did i fall into a trap ?
You will feel the pain.. For what you make use of people. Make use of me.
And now, i can, or maybe, i cant. See that who you wanna be back with. your not staying single.

What? What is all this words, all pain inside me that i never felt before. I did not summon anyone up.
You put up a good act for me. You will regret. For what you treated me.
Yea, she just want to have fun, think nothing more for the future.
What i only left, is all filled with anger, and hates.

I know, I love u and I will tell you everyday, Everyday until you forget those things that hurt. I hate the things that make you hurt And how I wish ...I could take them away. If only it could be done, I'll do it for sure. ...but it cant be done cus you wont let me at all.

So faithfull.. so loyal.. to a girl that fake her feelings towards me.
And yet, i still love her.
The pain inside me, will follow me for life.
So as the curse, inside you. Will happen one day.
No, i did not curse you, your the one that created it.

This also goes to the ones, that hated me, insulted me, doing stuffs against me.
Once, twice, i stay quiet. I did nothing.

I cared for you, worry, loving you, pampered you, adore you, everything..
This is what i get. I tried to do more for you.
I will keep the straw that you made halfway, and the keychain, you gave it to me.
The photos we took, it will be in my phone/computer.
Remembering it, remembering the fake memories.
Remembering our first look, our first kiss.
Remembering when I disturb you, bullying you.
Remembering the first time i ever done so much for a girl.
Remembering the lies you told me.
Remembering that you ran away from me.
Remembering the last time that i kiss you.

You may have deleted me on facebook, phone..
But you cant deleted me from the world, from your heart.
You will remember for what you did towards me.
And what i done towards you too.

I never runaway from you.
I kept one big promise, That i will never leave you. Until now, its still holding inside my heart.
I still keep our 1st month message in my phone.
Every little things, means so much to me.
Now i have to pick up every little pieces of my broken heart putting it back together, 1 missing, which is yours. I cant complete it.

I never regret what i did.. Cus i know that no matter how much you hurt me, it will just be pain. And giving you back love.
Here are my last words.

Girl, take care of yourself, you will understand what is the meaning of true love.
I can explain, but its best if you know it.
Whats done is done, I said that, but it still can be change.
You have your family to be with you, your cousins, they are great.
But.. your not marrying them.
Dont play with love anymore, dont hurt anyone anymore, (if you need to..)
If you feel stress, take the stress, and fix it. Not throw it away.
I cherish, I remember, our this 4 months together.
Sigh, it feels like we been together more.
I know, you treated me this and that.. bad.. mean.. Its ok.
I dont blame you. Its what love do.
I wont wish you, "last long" with someone else, its a curse.
Remember me. Dont throw away my card that you took, return it to me, infront of my house.
I understand you ran away from me, can be because of your cousin's, or you just dont wish to be with me.
I wont force you anymore.
It has been great being with you.
Remembering the kisses at shop, the elbow that you use to hold, your house downstairs, the laughter, sadness we been thru together.

Once again, take care of yourself. Remember that everywhere you go, if you felt wind, means i am missing you.
Dont cry. Go find someone else now.
My phone, my computer, will always be on.
Study hard for next year.
Quit smoking, or dont smoke too much.

P.S: I Love You

Nobody's reading this anyway..

"I dont mind, I dont care, as long as your here with me."
"I take you for who you are, if you take me for everything."

"We use to talk on phone every night, less then a hour, now not even a call."

"Missing you isn't the hard part, knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart."

"Nothing hurts more than realizing you meant everything to me, but me meant nothing to her."

" Sometimes no matter how hard and impossible it is, we still do these things. Not because we dont have a choice but because we want and we love to. "

" How can I forget you when your always on my mind? How can I not want you when your all I want inside? How can I let you go when I can't see us apart? How can I not love you when you control my heart? "

"Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who wouldn't give up on them. "

So much more..

Sex Bombtable>